Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting Awareness Organization - Emotional and mental child abuse

Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting Awareness Organization - Emotional and mental child abuse

Parental Alienation

From PAAO website:

PAAO - Raising Awareness of Parental Alienation and
Hostile Aggressive Parenting

Did You Know That...
Parental Alienation is a form of Child Abuse?

Parental alienation (or Hostile Aggressive Parenting) is a group of behaviors that are damaging to children's mental and emotional well-being, and can interfere with a relationship of a child and either parent. These behaviors most often accompany high conflict marriages, separation or divorce.

These behaviors whether verbal or non-verbal, cause a child to be mentally manipulated or bullied into believing a loving parent is the cause of all their problems, and/or the enemy, to be feared, hated, disrespected and/or avoided.

Parental alienation and hostile aggressive parenting deprive children of their right to be loved by and showing love for both of their parents. The destructive actions by an alienating parent or other third person (like another family member, or even a well meaning mental health care worker) can become abusive to the child - as the alienating behaviors are disturbing, confusing and often frightening, to the child, and can rob the child of their sense of security and safety leading to maladaptive emotional or psychiatric reactions.

Most people do not know about Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting until they experience it. Parental Alienation Awareness is put forth to help raise awareness about the growth in the problem of targeting children and their relationship in healthy and loving parent/child bond.

We need your help to protect the innocent, ...the children.

We need your help to educate and make aware to the public the effects of Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting.

If you've been affected by Parental Alienation or know someone who has, or are a past victim of a parent who exhibited Hostile Aggressive Parenting, please write and tell us your story. We will add your story to our letters page for everyone around the world to publish in their local magazines, newspapers, etc. Please remember to keep your story to the telling of the confusion, loss, love, and heartache. Please refrain from excessive anger and verbally assaulting anyone in your letters.

The aim of the Awareness is to make the general public, judges, police officers, mental health care workers, child protection agencies, lawyers, as well as friends and family of the targeted children or their parents become aware of this growing problem.

With awareness comes education and understanding, and the power to stop the abuse of innocent children caught in the crossfire of people they love.
(copied and pasted from PAAO website)

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Happy Birthday Keegan

Dear Keegan,
Tomorrow is your birthday. You will be seventeen. And it has been almost three years since I've seen you.

When I was last with you we still lived at our home of nearly twelve years. It was Tanith's birthday the next day. I was getting ready for her party. She was going to have a slumber party with eight girls. Your dad was gone. I had asked him to move out and had already filed for divorce. What a horrible, painful time that was. For you kids I'm sure it was excruciating. I had a panacea already--a boyfriend to ease my pain. I chose to tell you and your brother and sister I had a boyfriend. Looking back, of course, everything I did was all wrong.

Your father has been so bitter toward me. I was so angry at him. I'm sure he was hurt, and so was I. Now that time has gone by I remember more of the good things he did, and his good qualities. How he liked to go on outings as a family, how we went to Oregon every summer driving up in the Suburban and stayed with my sister, your aunt Lisa, and his dad, your grandpa. I remember how he took care of everything with the Suburban, getting it ready, new tires, tune up, getting a VCR player put in so you kids could watch movies on the trip up.

And your dad got the Suburban for me because I said I needed three rows of seats for you and your brother and sister: one row for each of you. Once your sister was old enough to pester you, you fought like wild cats when you were in the car. Your dad agreed that separating each of you would be a good solution for the arguing that went on anytime we went somewhere as a family. One afternoon he came home driving a shiny new Suburban.

You will be seventeen, tomorrow, June seventh. When you were born all the nurses came in to look at you because of your astonishing hair. It was black at the base, red in the middle, and white blond at the tips. Your dad called you "Flame Tipper." The nurses had never seen anything like it. And you had so much hair. You were the biggest of my babies, nine pounds. And happy. My Keegie-love, I called you.

I meant to write about you--because it will be your birthday. You have been so angry at me, too. Not that this is new. You became a hostile child, teenager. And I suppose the fact of you being your father's and my child that should come as no surprise to me. Your father and I were moody rebellious teenagers.

I know you are in a band and play guitar. You are so tall and skinny now. And handsome. You have your dad's gorgeous jaw line. I see videos of you in your band on YouTube. I know too, that you have played with bands I idolized as a teenager. I'm pretty sure you have no idea I know any of these things, and I know you have no idea how proud I am of you. And how in awe.

It will be your birthday. I was blessed to help bring you into the world. You have been a gift to me. Happy Birthday.

Thursday, June 3, 2010


I work with fourth and fifth graders every day. I enjoy them, get joy from them, and they seem to like me. But they are not my own.

Yesterday one little boy, Jacob, brought his Pokemon card collection to show me. I know about Pokemon. I can appreciate Pokemon.

My children collected the cards for years. Keegan, my middle son, was really into Pokemon cards. He wanted to go to the card shop every day to trade cards and get new ones. He bought the card sleeves and notebook, and arranged his cards according to how valuable they were. He used to have a book explaining each different Pokemon character, their powers, and their special skills. Keegan would ask me to hold the book and quiz him on the characters like he was studying for a test. So I learned Pokemon.

Yesterday, when Jacob got his collection out, it was almost like I was back with Keegan when he was eleven. It might still make me sad even if I was in Keegan's life. All children grow up. And when I was with my kids I would look at their baby pictures and reminisce. I would miss them as babies, but enjoy the age they had become.